BlueHecate

Ok, finally finished organizing these pics and gonna put them up for adoption to the public. I've been offering them to friends who would give them good homes.

Few Things To Know!:

- These guys are up for adoption, for 20 points

Now you might be asking me,
"Why were they free before?"

And I'd say,
"Because I went to friends and asked them if they would like to adopt one, or however many they were interested in adopting."

And then you might ask,
"But these are just sketches, sketches of very amazing designs but still just sketches. Your commission prices are lower. Why would you charge them so much?"

Then I'd explain,
"Because not only would you be adopting the design but you would also get to choose the color palette for the adoptee, AND receive a lined, colored, finished pic, like these!"







And then you'd agree and you'd pick your adoptables, send me the points, I'd color them, and you'd get to draw or commission others to draw them for you ^3^ 

-If you're interested in one please note, comment on it saying you'd like to buy it, or comment to me with the link you're interested in

- If you can't pay with points then we CAN work out a simple trade ^w^

- When you adopt them you are allowed to change anything, or everything about their design, names, colors, or anything else basically

- SOME MAY LOOK LIKE COPYRIGHT CHARACTERS BUT ARE NOT. By this I mean that they many will be colored and their designs may be tweaked due to my style being so different from then and to avoid from looking like copyrighted stuff.

- DO NOT sell the designs for more points than you paid. You CAN gift or sell them for lesser points, just let me know who the new owner of them is

- PLEASE DO NOT use them to start a new closed species where people have to buy them from you to make. If they're a free species, then that's ok ^w^

-Please let me know if you use them or commission people with them in it X333

And Finally Here Is The Folder!:

sta.sh/225gjeqdepul?edit=1


LASTLY!!
Please be kind. No hate or comments accusing me of being the worst possible person for some of these designs.

If you have any issues with any pic, note or comment me with your concern and we will work it out from there ^w^

Art by TamilaB
CSS code by TamilaB

Hey guys, bring out the toilet paper cause there will be some issues that need tissues again TTATT

Small Warning:
This journal is filled with sad, regret, relief, self loathing, and frustration feels and an F word written in big letters!
--------------------------------------------------------
You ever find yourself in a place or state of boredom and you think to yourself "Just kill me, please!", but not actually mean it?

Well during the past week I've found myself thinking that thought 10 times more than I usually do, and 5% of them was actual "Please! Just end it cause I can't do this anymore!"

About 2 weeks ago I got hired by Walmart to be a cashier, but had to go to Virginia for the first week. I was scared and nervous, but told myself everything was going to be ok. And for the first time, I was SO wrong!

The first day was hell cause they had me sit infront of a computer and doing modules for safety, alcohol selling rules, in case of emergencies, etc for NINE HOURS!! I drove home and told myself everything was going to be better tomorrow. And again, so very WRONG!

I get there at 7:45 AM and finish the modules by 12:45 PM and then can't find the guy who's supposed to be there and tell me what needs to happen next. Find him, tells me to go to another person, who then tells me I'll be bagging for cashiers as they teach me what I need to know. About 45 minutes until I'm allowed to go home, I can't feel my feet cause, as a bagger, I don't get a nice comfy foot mat. And all the while my head is filled with "Just kill me now!"

Finally I get off work but decide to go talk to my boss to ask when I need to come back in. Again, not able to find them immediately but ask around and get her to come to me. We talk, I'm not really listening cause my brain is fried from 9 hours of this crap, hands me a 3 week schedule, and a person who's supposed to be training me, and was able to get the next day off.

I come home around 5:15, thinking I'm finally able to relax and forget that I volunteered to going to a 60's party with my parents at 6. I get dressed up, drive to the place, able to atleast eat some pretty good food, and then have to wait till 9:45 cause my parents and their friends want to know if they won anything in the raffle drawings.

We get home at around 10:30, I'm ready to pass out cause none of my day was fun. But nope, days not done yet. I show my mom and dad my 3 week schedule to find that my boss set me up for 36 hours a week! That's 9 hours for 4 days!! I said I wanted part time, not "Skim 4 hours off Full Time so you can keep me longer but don't have to give me benefits" part time!!

I go to bed, telling myself that everything will be better tomorrow cause I have no work. Yep, you guessed it! I was wrong AGAIN!!

Next day I wake up with a Migraine and get my first Anxiety Attack while trying to not think about how scared I am about going back to work the next day. Atleast I think that's what it was. I kept crying thinking how horrible feeling it was there till I couldn't even breath right.

After that my mom sits me down and we have a talk about how we plan to make tomorrow better. I was going to go in early to talk with my boss about scheduling my hours, cause Walmart didn't put me in the system yet, and get that straightened out.

I finally went to bed, believing with all my heart that tomorrow was going to be better...but as is life, there was no Happy End for this Happy Go Lucky Side Character.

Wake up, get myself ready, head to work early, and wouldn't you know it my boss was in a meeting and wouldn't be out till I start work. Fine, just a minor set back. Nothing to freak out about cause at Walmart they want Associates to be "Comfortable with sharing their ideas and concerns."

FUCK YOU WALMART!!

HEY! Before you start the hate at me for typing that, hear me out first!

I clock in, though they still didn't put me in the system yet, and find my 'Sponsor' cashier. Told her that she was my sponsor and replies "I told them I don't want to be anyones Sponsor."

Always a FUN thing to feel like a Burden, isn't it? Whatever, at this point I could care less cause I'm more interested in trying to talk to my boss cause there was no way in HELL that I was working another 9 hours.

So I work with my sponsor for an hour or two until I tell her I was going to look for my boss. I find someone to call her over for me, but then I see her after they call her over. I walk over to her, saying I really needed to talk to her with some concerns I had about my schedule and she looks at the person I asked to call my boss over and says this,

"I don't have time right now. We're busy so have HER write it on a piece of paper and I'll read it on my downtime."

And continues to walk off...I get it, ok? I GET that it was the week they had to do Store Inventory Check and they were busy. I GET that the lady, who was my sponsor didn't like having someone to 'babysit'. And I even GET that not all Walmart 'Salaried Associates' can be there for you all the time you need help or to talk.

BUT WHY THE FUCK COULDN'T SHE HAVE SAID IT TO MY FACE?!?!

That was what finally cracked Susie Cream Cheese's Optimistic little outlook on the world.

I knew while I was working there, I was going to be looked at as nothing but a burden. Not even deserved to be told something to my face.

Thankfully the person, who was supposed to tell me to write it on a piece of paper, let me tell her my concern and that I couldn't work but 5 hours that day. She said that was fine and that she would let my boss know herself...least there was one kind soul that day. Possibly why I was able to make it threw the rest of the day.

After I finished work, I still tried to get to my boss. But she still told me she was just too busy to talk or listen...the second I got back into my car I cried. And for the 30 minute drive back home, I couldn't stop crying. I felt angry, sad, useless, scared, and dehydrated.

When I got home, I dried myself up and pulled myself together. Unfortunately my mom can see through Bull Shit and I broke down again. Told them how my day went and what I felt. Told them that I was prepared to continue to work there but would look for another job and quit Walmart the second I found a new one.

I thought my mom was fine with the decision. I thought she would have yelled at me for not Trying hard or long enough at Walmart. And for the first time that week, I WAS wrong in the best way possible.

My parents said that the job was obviously taking more than a toll on my health and wasn't going to actually get fixed. That night I was finally able to tell myself, without fear of being wrong, that tomorrow would be a better day.

My mom helped me write a Letter of Resignation in the morning. Nothing fancy, but it would be a lot more than they'd usually get from some employees that came and just decided not to come back ever again.

Around 12 we went to Walmart, told my mom I had to do this myself, and went to the nice CSM (Customer Service Manager, I think) and told her that I was no longer going to work there. I gave her my letter, my jacket, and my card. Told her that I appreciated the job opportunity, but it was just too fast paced for my first real job. My mom and I left, and that was that.

I was finally able to go back to volunteering at my local museum today and OH MY GOD did I miss it TTwTT

But like I said. This is life, and there's still no Happy End for for a broken, healing, person like myself.

I checked my banking info, to see if Walmart had paid me for the hours I DID for them yet, only to see that I had been charged 8.95 for "Minimum Balance" 8 times the past 8 months!...and the thoughts of "Please, just end this all now!" are starting to fill my mind and crush my heart again.

Perhaps the world has finally done it. Maybe it's finally broken my positive attitude on life and made me another person who's just forever scarred inside.

...or maybe just Fuck that, ok?

I have my parents, I have my brother, I have my moms dog, and I have my volunteer job that I fucking LOVE! The only thing that this experience has done, is made me more determined to win at Life!!

Sure I'm still terrified at the thought of working at Walmart or any big store, but not at working in general.

Sure I'm scared that my bank continued to charge me fees without warning me once. I'll just take all my money out and wait till things are more secure and I have more to put in.

So you know what Life? FuuuuUUUUuuuUUUuUUuuuUUCK YOU!
----------------------------------------------

I swear I'm going to wake up tomorrow to this and be all "OMG! NO! TAKE IT DOWN! TAKE IT DOWN!!!"

Sorry for the feel train guys. But thank you so much if you actually read all of it...this was a long one indeed >3>;

I'll try and go back to my usual self and the next journal will be filled with rainbow landfills and unicorn farts. Just needed to let this out for now =w=

Till next time! Bye guys! Love you all!

P.S. WTF?! You can't put your emoticon emotion you're feeling anymore?! What the heck DA?!

So I've been redirected from Youtube to SoundCloud for a bunch of different songs, that I adore! But I'm not able to figure out if it's safe for my Laptop or not. And by that I mean will it hurt my computer because it doesn't have a ton of space.

If any of you have accounts on SoundCloud, please lemme know how it is and if it's safe for me ;w;

Art by TamilaB
CSS code by TamilaB

Hi guys! I wanna say Happy holidays for whatever you're celebrating today!

Lemme know in the comments, I'm super curious and wanna know what you guys are doing X3

And also I wanna give a special shout out to Yo-Snap ! They made all these amazing and holiday cheery commissions before Christmas! Yo-Snap, you are a true Holiday Miracle X3


To Kiss-the-Iconist 




To Primarella 




To student-yuuto 



To Tapie-Smurf 




To Wiccatwolf 



To FoxToon 




To demonofnothing 



To kiananuva12 




To Riverthunder 



To aspienpastels 



And the rest are for my entertainment XD







I'm doing well, besides Deviantart BANNING me from buying people Core Memberships for Xmas. It's not even that deal where I get one for free for buying one for another. I was able to give a few this morning but was then given this lovely window when I was trying to the last few friends some ;3;



I understand if I was getting a certain limit on them, but could you have atleast warned me about the impending banning or something ;3;


But this just means I will give you guys Memberships when this Ban is cleared up ^w^

Art by TamilaB
CSS code by TamilaB

As promised, this journal will explain what I was trying to avoid facing yesterday.

Skip to the bottom if you want the short version, but I just wanted to let you guys know just WHO I lost today.

------------------------------------------------------

My dog, Lucy just passed away. She was my first dog I had, who was mine. I adopted her 12 years ago, while I was in High School.

When I went out looking at Petcos, on adopt a dog Friday, she was at the second store my family and I visited. There was this small, miniature pincher. Had a little grey behind her ears, but she had the brightest eyes.

Lucy was sweet, kind, she'd lick up your nose if you'd let her, and she had the name of our past dog, who treated me like her puppy when I was very little.

My mom was worried though. When we adopted her, Lucy was 7 years old. My mom thought that little dog wouldn't last too long. Wasn't she surprised 12 years later, making Lucy 19 years old.

Lucy was my friend through High School, Community College, and my College years. She'd always surprise us by how young she'd act. Lucy would run up and down the stairs, she'd pick fights with our second past dog, Flounder. Heck, she'd bark at any dog for any reason till she died.

My dog was the toughest mutt you'd ever seen too. She had a nasty encounter with a big dog, who was allowed to be let loose by their owners. The dog came running while my dad and I were on a walk. I scooped my moms chihuahua up, but my dad didn't think Lucy would misbehave. The big dog grabbed hold of the back of Lucy's neck, and tossed her around like she was a rag doll. The owners came over and started to kick at their dog, I watched in horror, all while Lucy was trying her best to fight it. That was 9 years ago and she wasn't changed by it at all.

Then her body started to...go down. 3 years ago, Lucy had her first mini seizure. Most of her muscles on the left side of her body stopped working. She couldn't get up or down stairs either. She fell down 15 step stairs, twice and that's when the gates needed to be used.

The vet told us that she had 3 weeks. And again, that was 3 YEARS ago.

My family and I had the saying that if she'd keep eating, then we'd keep feeding her. No matter what food she wanted, we'd find it.

Then there was the event with her teeth. Our first vet told us that she couldn't get her teeth cleaned anymore because there would be a chance she wouldn't wake up after they put her under for the procedure.

She started to not eat food a year after that. Her mouth got a nasty infection and we thought she'd loose her whole mouth or something. But then our second vet told us that Lucy could have the teeth cleaning procedure. And age didn't matter, that the only thing to check was her ability to process the sleeping gas and stuff.

She may have lost 12 teeth but she started eating like her old self again.

On the morning of December, 17th, 2015, Lucy began having extreme diarrhea. Because I've been in Virginia, due to recovering from a bad leg, my mom called me and said that she was taking Lucy to the vets that day.

My mom called me later that day and said the one sentence I didn't want to hear while I was away, "We have to make a decision."

Lucy's liver was failing. She was becoming dehydrated and her breath was smelling like urine. She hadn't eaten in two days either. The vet was able to help by giving her fluids and a shot to ward off the nausea she had. But they said that if we didn't do something by tomorrow that she might not make it through the weekend, when they opened back up.

I was torn. I wanted to be there for my dog, just one last time. My dad and I were to leave the day AFTER the vets were closed. Just one days difference...

My mom and I came to the decision that it was best for Lucy if she went while still feeling happy and warm, rather than in pain or going through a stroke or seizure.

The sad part was we saw Lucy as the toughest dog around. Didn't matter if she lost limbs, muscles, or teeth. She'd keep on coming back for more...but there was no coming back from a failed liver.

At 9:24 am, December 18, 2015, I got a call from my mom. Telling me that Lucy hadn't changed. She wasn't able to stand or walk on her own.

And at 10:32 that morning my mom called and said she went to sleep and was in a better place, and then we both cried while trying to talk to each other over the phone.

I will say something that I found to be more proof that there are somethings out there, watching over us.

My mom, who I'd swore on my smurf collection, would never come back to Virginia for anything unless she HAD to. She came down a week ago because she wanted to see the Christmas Orchestra Concert we'd always go to, and she brought the dogs with her.

If she didn't do that, if she didn't drive 7 hours with the dogs JUST to watch a concert, the last time I would have seen my baby dog would had been a month, instead of a week.

And I got to hold my dog, walk her, try to convince her to eat, and snuggle with my dog. So I really do believe there is something, or many things watching us.

---------------------------------------------------------

Short version:

My dog was put to sleep this morning and my heart hurts knowing when I go back to NY tomorrow that she won't be there. She was a good friend and she will be deeply missed.


Thank you guys for reading this, even if you did skip and read the short version. And also thank you for helping me in my last journal so quickly. I really appreciate it.

She will always be in my heart and I will always remember her how she was, not how she is gone